Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
