I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
