Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I need water and some morals
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
