If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
