dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize