yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I cut my penus on the lid.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
