Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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