Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
