I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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