you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
