i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
