Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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