Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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