yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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