You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
