Little spoons don't ask big questions
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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