ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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