Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
