Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
