The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize