Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Randomize
