AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
