**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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