she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
