there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
