is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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