i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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