The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I need to calm my uterus...
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
