I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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