PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
