Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
