Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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