i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
