just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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