Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
