sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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