You can't motorboat a personality
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
