This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
well you can't waste a boner
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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