I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
