Porn is love you can see.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
