it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
