How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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