After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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