Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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