I wanna passion pit in your ass
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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