My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
My vagina is very pro this idea
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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