***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
