We're like a lot better than the average bears
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
