I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize