Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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