What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
