the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize