Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry helloooooo hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Her vagina smelled like bad decisions

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(630): View more from Illinois

I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same

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(416): View more from Toronto

Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".

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(907): View more from Alaska

Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.

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(317): View more from Indiana

The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome

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(973): View more from New Jersey

That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club

(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists

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(209): View more from California

apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside

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