Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
