I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
