Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
