i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize