I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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