Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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