he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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