he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
