is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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