do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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