i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
