She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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