we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
