Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
