she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
