Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
